Yesterday I hit a breaking point that I'm sure all mothers hit sometimes. I guess the stress of potty training two boys, which means no fun excursions, combined with not knowing anyone in our new town yet, combined with all the other daily stresses that alone aren't worth mentioning, but added to everything caused my patience to officially run out. I got upset at the boys for silly things that on any other day, I would have hardly noticed. I cried and told them they were making me sad. Then I cried harder when I thought of what a bad mother I was being. Then I cried even harder when, after all of that, it was them that told me to be happy and said I was still their "best bud."
When Bart called from work, he could tell I was having one of those days, so when he came home, he told me to take off for the evening, and go read the new book he brought home for me, The Host. So, I did.
It was great to be out of the house and have some time to myself. After reading for about an hour, I decided to walk around Walmart and look for a few things that I need for the house that I have a hard time shopping for with two toddlers in tow. As I was about to leave, I guess I was still letting my day show on my face, because a sweet, scraggly old man stopped me and said, "Smile. It can't be that bad." And he was right. I said, "Thanks, I needed that," and thought about what he said. Nothing I have to deal with in my life is anything that an hour with a good book won't cure. And right now, the source of my biggest stress is also the source of my greatest joy. So, what do I have to be sad about? Nothing. I just needed some time alone to put that into perspective.
Thanks to Kade and Ky for forgiving me so freely an telling me to be happy.
Thanks to Bart for the new book and understanding I needed an evening to myself.
And thanks to the scraggly old man who helped me to remember how blessed I am.
3 comments:
Oh my goodness . . . glad I'm not the only one. Thanks for sharing. :) You'll have to tell me how the potty training goes with your boys. I'm really nervous about potty-training my girls. I know they'll be at that stage before I know it. Congratulations on the house, and the sprouting lawn. It's so exciting to have a place of your own!
Don't you feel so guilty crying in front of your kids? After days like that I just think, "I can't pick their memories--please don't let them remember this day!" But sometimes there's nothing left for a mom to do! :) And hang in there with the potty training...I know how sick you can get of bodily fluids....
I'm so sorry. I know how hard that can be. It's great that you have such a wonderful husband who will give you a break when you need one. I think that's the reason we are supposed to raise children with two parents. Times like that make me admire single parents and feel so grateful for my husband. Hang in there!
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